I really wish I had some sweet camera skills. I could totally do stuff like this - mainly because I'm insane - but also because...nope, I'm just insane.


OH OH OH! My 2nd "Thursday 13" article on CollegeHumor.com made it to the most viewed page. View that shit here ->


Lesson #2

Upload your MRI images onto facebook and tell everyone you're brain is too big for your skull and you have to have "cranial expansion" and you'll be out of commission for the next month or so…


bottle of water - check

half finished bottle of wine - check

enormous jug of human urine - check

half finished gallon of milk - check

bottle of gatorade - check


Lesson #1 - take pictures of your jug of urine, upload them onto Facebook, and add catchy captions.


Apparently, if you want your man to be faithful all you have to do is buy him more video games. This seems to be a sound approach to the ever growing popularity of the "stick ya dick anywhere" pandemic. I'm very glad there is finally a solution to this horrific problem.


In other news…my first article in the “Thursday 13” series that I’m writing on CollegeHumor.com is up, check it out and tell your friends (http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1768734). The more views my articles get, the better! 


On a recent trip to New Jersey, I was astounded at how much suckage really took place there. First, the convenience stores...WaWa? Really, you couldn't come up with a better name? You HAD to name your store after the sound the adults made in Peanuts? Second, the guys...gahh, enough said. Third, your state just sucks. Nothing good ever came from New Jersey - and don't give me that Bon Jovi is from New Jersey bullshit because Bon Jovi sucks too! My brother found this little pie chart that I feel quite accurately describes the hair gel usage of the world. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...and Happy New Year (you suckers).