First of all, congrats to my cousin Bryan and his new wife Jen - and, screw you for getting married in New Jersey on a Friday.

I am pleased to annouce that I now get sick from just about everything I eat...and if I look at another cup of Greek yogurt or a piece of fruit I'm going to get violent. I think I'm allergic to wheat and starch (which blows).

Also, I bought a leather arm chair...set me back a cool $244 - but whatevers, it's bangin'
For the 3 people that read this...I'm sitting at Delta Gate 29...awaiting my flight to see my twin in New England...and I honestly forgot how weird airports could be. I'm sitting a few seats down from an Asian group, the littlest Asian is giving the biggest Asian an odd Asian leg rub and laughing hysterically - I bet they are speaking in tongue about wantons and Kim Jong Il. A few rows ahead of us is this Polish woman - how do I know she's Polish? I can smell the kielbasa and sauerkraut leaking from her pores. Anyway Miss Poland 2009 is wearing a REALLY bad ass pair of brown orthopedic kicks that could almost pass for those Steve Madden platform sneakers from 1999 - but they say very clearly on the bottom "intended for support of the lower back" (I can read this because she has her feet up).

*EDIT* Shortly after this was posted, the Asians got into a straight up "fast & furious" style fight...screaming Asian words and everything...they were carted off and I gather deported...