Angry Mom

*Mom gives Dad her deli order, which he screws up - leaving her angry*

Mom: he fuckin' put mayo on it!
Me: sorry...
Mom: why would he do this!?!
Me: he forgot?
Mom: why would he do this!?!
Me: it's not a big deal.
Mom: why would he do this!?!
Me: no idea...
Mom: i'm totally serious, why would be do his!?!
Me: why don't you just murder him? i'm sure no jury would convict you - especially after hearing of the harsh living conditions you've had to deal with, i mean mayo on a sandwich, fuck that's tough!